he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
