All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The air was thick with penises
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
