love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
