i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
