I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize