Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
