omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
