Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
