it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize