Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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