Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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