she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
