I seem to have left my pride at pride
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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