They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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