When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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