never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
