They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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