Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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