All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
