I molested 6 butterflies tonight
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
