Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
