Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
