Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
