but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize