We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
