I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
