Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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