If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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