The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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