I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
