YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
