he shaved USA in his pubs
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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