That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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