Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
