remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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