Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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