talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
