Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
