There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
