I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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