I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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