Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
