I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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