We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
