Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
