She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize