so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
