oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
