I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
