a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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