That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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