we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
