I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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