Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize