I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
