wake up i wanna do it froggy style
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize