I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
