How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
