I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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