if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
