Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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