8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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