My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
