If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
