glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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