I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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