I wanna bring you to show and tell
Too much gin, very little bucket
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
