so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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