nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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