where am i from again
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
