Do you still have your period?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
