Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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